PARENTS, THE FOREMOST IN WORSHIP
Our Sanathana Dharma prescribes that we should worship our parents as the prime representatives of the Supreme. Matur Devo Bhava, Pitur Devo bhava says Taitireeya Upanishad. In Tamil also there is a proverb – “ Annaiyum Pithaavum Munnari deivam” meaning that the Mother and Father are the divine to be known first.
We owe our very existence to our parents and if we wish to live a wholesome life, we need to take good care of them. It is the mother who opens our eyes to the world and in fact introduces our father to us. It is through them that we come to know about our relatives, kinsmen, customs and of course God. They take good care of us in our childhood and protect us from the dangers and miseries of the world. As we grow up and become more exposed to the outer world and as our own knowledge grows, we tend to think that we know better than our parents and dub them as outdated. This is more so with today’s younger generation which is highly tech savvy and feel that they are much more advanced than their parents and in the process come to the conclusion that their IQ is much higher. We can also say that parents today should definitely acknowledge that their children are much more advanced in their knowledge and thinking than they were at their age and should respect their independence. But this is not what the subject matter of this essay is. It is about the duties of children towards their parents when they are alive and when they have passed on to another realm.
We have several stories in our Puranas about the significance of parental worship starting from Maha Ganapathi circumambulating His parents and getting the coveted mango fruit, Sravanakumar’s story in the Ramayana about his carrying on his shoulders his aged and blind parents on a pilgrimage when he is struck down by an arrow from the king Dasaratha, the story of Parasurama who instantly and implicitly obeyed his father’s instructions to behead his mother and got her back to life by claiming the boon his father granted for his obedience, the story of young Pundareega making Lord Vittalla wait till he finished serving his aged parents and so on. Serving ones parents when they are alive is something which is stressed time and again by our scriptures.
When they leave their mortal coils, our parents join their ancestors in the Pitr loka and one should continue to worship them for without their continued blessings one cannot expect to lead a happy life. The Pitrs have higher energy quotient than when they are cloaked in a human body and hence their blessings do matter. Pitrs are worshipped for three generations on both the father’s side and the Mother’s side. This has some scientific backing as we are supposed to derive our chromosomes that form our characteristics from both the lineage and the mutation could happen over three generations.
The three generations are represented by Vasu, Rudra and Adithya. The Hindu pantheon talks about the existence of 33 principal gods comprising 8 Vasus, 11 Rudras, 12 Adityas and the two Ashvini devatas. These 33 gods are considered to have manifold forms which leads to the 33 crore devas
According to the Puranas, Vasus are children of sage Kashyapa and Aditi and represent the basic elements that sustain the earth like Agni (fire), Vayu (air), Prithvi (earth), Aditya (Sun), Antariksha (space), Akasa (sky), Chandrama (Moon) and Nakshatrani (Stars). They are related closely to the humans as they provide the basic requirements for existence of life on earth.
The Rig Veda states that Rudras are gods of the middle world – Antariksham or Bhuvar loka as they represent the life breath. Maruts are also gods associated with Air and life breath and sometimes considered synonymous with Rudras. There is also a belief that Maruts are sons of Rudras. Puranas describe the advent of Rudras in different ways, but agree that they are the forms of the Supreme God Shiva. Sri Rudram calls them as ‘Shambavaa Moorti Bedha’. Initially Brahma the creator created this universe without any gender and there was no procreation and hence Brahma found that there was something lacking in His creation. His eyebrows were locked in deep contemplation. Out came a resplendent being crying out aloud ‘ Give me a name’ and started devouring all that Brahma had created till then. An annoyed Brahma asked him who he was and why he has set about destroying all that he had created whereupon the being presented a form of half man half woman (Arda Naree) and explained to Brahma about the previous creation and Brahma realizing his mistake started creating in pairs of man and woman in all species so they could procreate and multiply. As the God who came out of the eyebrows of Brahma came out with a cry ‘Give me a name’ He was called Rudra – One who cries out aloud or one who makes others cry. Another version states that Rudra was born the son of sage Kashyapa and Aditi. There are eleven principal manifestations of Rudra attended to by eleven crore Rudra ganas. In the vedic period Rudras were worshipped as the vital force of nature which could assume both gentle and terrible forms.
Next come Adityas who are twelve in number and as the name suggests they are considered to be the sons of Aditi and sage Kashyapa. They are protectors of the universe and bring forth light. Of them we worship Surya the Sun who is the sustainer of our planet. As protectors they represent the concept of Vishnu as well as the self illuminating celestial bodies who occupy space.
Thus, while Vasus are related to the earth, the Bhu thatva, Rudras rule over the intervening space Bhuvaha and Aadityaas are lords of the timeless space Suvaha. Thus in the worship of our forefathers we relate them to Vasu, Rudra and Aaditya as we consider them to be evolving from the earth plane and to move on to the vaster plane of ether or Akasa. Hence, ones departed father or mother is considered to be of the Vasu form (Vasu Roopa). The grand parents assume the Rudra form and the great grand parents the Aaditya form. With the addition of a newly departed person to the Vasu stage the one who is in the Aaditya stage automatically is considered to have moved into the final realms of Narayana and is deemed to have achieved Shiva padam or Sriman Narayana padam. However this contradicts the theory of karma and the belief that until the soul identifies and merges with the supreme, it retains its identity and goes through the cycles of births and deaths.
One plausible explanation to this is that the divine beings of Vasu, Rudra and Aadityas who permeate the cosmos with their multifarious forms and aspects accept the oblations and prayers offered by the humans to their fore fathers and pass on the same to the respective souls who are worshipped. While performing the Shrarda ceremony we come across a mantra ‘Anyathra yatho gajchantntu yathra eshaam gatham manaha’ which means ‘let this offering reach where the departed soul’s mind has gone’.
Garuda Purana explains in detail about what happens to the soul after death. It is mostly in the form of discussions between Lord Maha Vishnu and His mount Garuda bhagavan. Here is given the description of the soul passing through the various worlds and experiencing the planes of heavens (Svarga) and Hells(Naraga) according to its karmic deeds (punya and pava) on the exhaustion of which its ultimately residing in the lotus feet of Sriman Narayana. It is said that the soul gets another body from the pinda offered by the sons during the ten days after death and thereafter it travels to yama puri the abode of Yama dharma where they are judged according to their punya and pava and then sent to the heavens of hells. On exhausting their karma phala they fall back to the bhu loka to take another birth and the cycle goes on till they cut the bond through self realization.
The worship of the departed souls is done on the thithi (lunar day) of their departure from this earth once a year which is called pratyapdika shradda. Every month on the new moon day they are offered Tarpana – offering of sesame seeds and water to quench their hunger and thirst. During the dark half of the month when the Sun is in Kanya rasi, the month of Purattasi in Tamil the Pitrs are supposed to visit their off springs and these fifteen days are held to be special days for their worship. Even if some one had not performed the annual shrarda ceremony, if he performs the worship of Pitrs during the Pitr paksha also called as Mahalaya paksha then they are delivered of their sins and are blessed by their forefathers. The offering of Tarpana is not confined to ones immediate forefathers, but extends to all known and unknown relatives and kinsmen. The Pitrs worshipped during this period are called Karunika Pitrus meaning ancestors with great compassion. It is said that to receive the oblations of the descendants the Pitrs keep waiting till the next paksha.
Now one may ask as to how offering water and food to brahmins one can be sure that this reaches the Pitrs? Maha Periyaval have explained this through an anecdote which runs thus. A man who lived in a village and was not conversent with the modern times wanted to send some money to his son who was studying in a college in a far away place as the son wanted money urgently. The perplexed man who did not know how to send the money physically to his son was guided by the local Post Master to send the money through Telegraphic Money order. The man was asked to pay the money in the Post Office for which he was given a receipt. The man wondered how this would go to his son and stayed back to watch how the MO clerk would send the money. He thought that the money would be put in a bad and strung across the telephone line which will then go physically to his son who would be able to pick up the same. But this is fraught with risks as someone may take the money in between. So thinking the man stayed back and observed that the clerk put the money received from him in a safe and cracking on the telegraphic device (now telex or fax). The clerk told the eager man that the money had already gone to the destination and his son would receive the same and explained that there is no need to physicallty send the money and the Post Office at the other end would give the money to his son. Satisfied the man walked away and soon got a confirmation and thanks from his son that the money was received.
Similarly the trinity of Vasu Rudra and Aditya ensure do this post office work and ensure that the offerings during the shrarda ceremony reaches the beneficiary in tact and in the way that would be helpful to them.
Apart from the offering of daily Tarpana both to ones ancestors from both the paternal and maternal sides (varga dvaya Pitrus), a shradda ceremony is also performed during this period where unlike the normal shradda ceremony where only the Pitru vargam ancestors (Pitu Pitamaha Prapitamaha and Matu Pitamahi Prapitamahi) are worshipped, in a Mahalaya shradda, both the Pitur vargam and Matur vargam ancestors apart from the Karunika Pitrs who represent all the relatives who had passed away are offered Tarpana and worship. This is also accompanied by feeding of the Brahmins which is considered to bring immense punya. The story of how Karna after his death in the battle field ascended the heavens was given all riches but no food as he had not given food as charity and how he returned to the earth to complete the offering of food to the hungry indicates the importance of feeding the poor. Anna (food) dhana is considered supreme to all other dhanas. If anna dhana is performed during Mahalaya paksha it brings the blessings of the ancestors that the person will never in his/her life be wanting for food at any time.
Visve Devas are representatives of the gods who lead the Pitrs in their sojourn to visit their offspring during the shrarda ceremony. During the pratyabdika (annual) shrarda ceremony, the Vishve devas are Pururava and Ardraka. During the Mahalaya Paksha they are called Dururuchi and Samyaka. They are the ones who create the link between the ancestors and their offspring and hence are worshipped first before the offerings are made to the Pitrs. Lord Maha Vishnu presides over the ceremony as Shrarda samrakshaka (protector of Shrarda).
Worshipping of father and mother when they are alive is very vital for the well being of the children. The joint family system that was prevalent about half a century ago has died and today we talk of nuclear families where there is no place for the elders who are driven to seek asylum in old age homes. This is perhaps the greatest of sins as today we see the young parents tote upon their child (children are no longer there and it is usually only one child) and make a lot of sacrifice to make them stand out in their lives. Can they imagine that they too would have to go to the old age homes one day?
Parents of today should also realize that times have changed and in order to make both ends meet, it is imperative for both the husband and wife to go for work and help each other in taking care of the family. If they feel that tradition is sacrificed by the woman not remaining only as a housewife (gruhani) and taking care of the tradition, the first seeds of discontent are sown which quickly grows to immense proportions with the quarrels and strife that brings stress into the lives of both the parents and children. The best ways for today’s parents would be first to accept their children and their spouses as they are and nurture them and their children without involving too much on the day to day affairs. Children should have the comfort to function independently, with the assurance that they can always fall back and depend on the elders for guidance and support.
Worshipping the ancestors is highly relevant as their blessings will take us through the trials and tribulations which we face and we will be blessed with good progeny which again will help us in our evolution as Pitrs when we depart from this world.
OM TAT SAT
